Fuckin' Porn Hub, the holy grail of smut! Bow down to the supreme ruler of free adult content! Often butchered as "PronHub," "PorHub," or "Poenhub" by the degenerates of society, this bad boy was birthed in 2007 by Matt Keezer, who then tossed it to Fabian Thylmann in 2010, probably because he cared more about cash than the site itself. Now it's part of Mindgeek, the big boss overseeing sites like YouPorn and RedTube, and a ton of premium joints like Brazzers and Digital Playground. While it might not be the numero uno porn site, it boasts a mind-blowing 11.4 million videos – that's more porn than you can shake your stick at!
Let's cut the crap; I'm pretty damn sure you've taken a stroll on PornHub.com. Maybe you're one of the hundreds of thousands hitting the site daily, getting a forearm workout that could qualify as a new Olympic sport. As the godfather of porn tubes, it sets the standard that wannabe tubes dream of reaching. Now, let's dive into what makes PornHub the X-rated Disneyland it is.
Ever heard PornHub made a cameo in the rom-com "Don John" in 2013? Bet you think your lonely ass in mom's basement is Hollywood material now, huh? The movie's about a dude addicted to fapping, even though he's drowning in action. Why they picked Joseph Gordon-Levitt over me for the lead role is beyond me – skinny dude can't compete with Scarlett Johansson! But hey, the director downgraded him to Julianne Moore by the end.
And yeah, PornHub.com is the go-to for movie buffs, creepy library dwellers, you, your colleagues, and everyone in between. Even Donald Trump allegedly starts and ends his day with a search for his Russian pee tape, while your mom's nightly battle cry to your dad is, "Get off Porn Hub and come to bed!" 'Cause let's face it, it's easier to rub one out to hot teens (18+) than waiting for Viagra to kick in for your mom's Sahara-like lady bits. And that drum intro on the site? It's a freakin' TikTok meme, making parents and teachers everywhere pretend they're clueless.
Now, the site's popularity isn't just about quantity; it's got a buffet of categories. From Blowjob and Anal to Asian and Ebony, they've got it all. Whether you're into Public obscenity, Lesbians, Cartoon porn, Hentai, Bondage, or Fetish, they've got your kinks covered. Sorry, family fun fans, no official Taboo genre, but a sneaky search for "Taboo" or "Step" will still do the trick. Same goes for those into Pee videos – they're there, just not shouting about it.
But it's not just about the variety; it's the stars. From innocent-looking 18+ teens to soccer MILFs and spazzed-out hoes, PornHub's got 'em all. White, Black, skinny, fat – you name it. Love Mia Khalifa, Chyna, or Stormy Daniels? No problemo! The Pornstars page ranks 'em by popularity, each with a ton of free pornos. Riley Reid's got nearly 900, Adriana Chechik almost 2,000, and Mia Khalifa – the queen – has around 5,000. Not bad for a three-month stint in the business!
Now, let's talk about duplicates. Mia didn't shoot 5,000 movies in 3 months; she shot 12. But hey, who cares when you're in the heat of the moment, right?
And check out their video player – category tags, Hotspots, and even slow-mo Cumshots. The playback speed control is a godsend, letting you skip straight to the good stuff. And don't get me started on the social media features – share, comment, Like, or Dislike. It's like a community of fellow enthusiasts, and grandma can join the party too!
Adverts used to be worse, but with a solid spam blocker, you won't see much. Thanks to their status as the big sex tube, they pull in the traffic premium sites crave, making bank through affiliate deals. The smaller tubes? They're stuck pushing dick pills.
Now, if you're bothered by a bit of spam, they've got Premium memberships – $9.99 a month after a free week trial. Full 4K Ultra-HD streaming and downloading, plus exclusive full-length pornos. Pornhub VR comes with it, and you can even gift it to a buddy for that priceless reaction.
If you'd rather earn than burn cash, upload your homemade sex tape through their amateur program. Top amateurs rake in up to $40,000 a month. Who wouldn't want to be the next porn sensation?
