All of us get nervous before sex… men and women alike.
Difference for women, though, is that they can get nervous and it’s no big deal. What’s the worst that happens; they don’t get wet? Synthetic lubricant will take care of that, or the lubrication on a condom.
On the other hand, as men, if we get overly nervous before sex, then we can’t get an erection… and then the failure of both parties to have sex all falls on our shoulders.
(We have a lot of responsibility as men when it comes to sex — we’re also expected to last long enough to make a woman orgasm, they have no such time limit!)
And the more we stress out about it, the less our chances of becoming erect!
So what do we do? If becoming nervous is part of sex, and becoming nervous kills our erection?
Here’s how to get an erection when nervous.
It’s Okay To Get Nervous Before Sex — Accept Your Anxiety and Your Erection Will Be Better Off
First thing lots of guys do when they can’t get an erection is they freak out… and now it’s even harder to get an erection…
Part of learning how to get an erection when nervous is to accept that you are nervous, not ignore it or try and push it away… know that it’s normal to feel this way, especially when having sex with someone new.
There’s no shame in this… there’s nothing inherently wrong with you.
I remember when I got hit with a bad case of “mental ED” in my late teens – I must have been about 19 years old. I was trying to have sex with this very sexy girl, and my erection just wouldn’t function. Made no kind of sense to me.
After trying time and time again to “force” myself to get hard (doesn’t work), we ended up having “sex” one day where I was able to achieve about a 50% erection and enter her. That’s the worst time to have sex, because not only does she not feel anything, but your penis isn’t “strong”… “fortified”… and is prone to getting “overwhelmed” by the amazing, engulfing feelings of her vagina… and you usually end up ejaculating sooner.
That’s what happened to me with this particular girl.
However, something interesting occurred that made me feel much better, and showed me I wasn’t alone with this.
I visited a friend’s house, and one of his friends was there, a guy who was known in the neighborhood as a “cool guy” and had his way with girls…
Thing about this guy was he was actually cool… didn’t try, nothing phony about him. If anything, he was very honest, in a refreshing sort of way.
And somehow the topic of sex came up, and out of nowhere he opened up about not being able to get an erection with a girl he was with… sharing all the same frustrations and negative feelings I was going through.
Then my friend opened up… he too had experienced the problem before.
This was pre-internet forum days… real life forum. And these guys (two high-school football players, manly tough guys) opened up about having issues getting it up before sex due to nerves.
We all shared, and I felt so much better after this conversation… and over the years, can’t count how many times I’ve overheard guys discussing similar issues. It happens to everyone… at least at some point in their lives…
Anxiety before sex happens… so.. you just need to learn how to get past it.
So how does all of this tie into how to get an erection when nervous? Accepting that it is normal to feel anxiety before sex actually weakens that very same anxiety’s “choking grip” on your arousal, and allows the “highway of hornyness” to open up once again between your mind and your penis.
Build Up Your Arousal While Keeping Your Anxiety In Check In Order to Get an Erection When Nervous
Admitting that you are anxious not only weakens the anxiety, but it allows you to see the anxiety clearly and work through it.
To get an erection when nervous, you want to concentrate on becoming as mentally aroused as possible… Build up that arousal power until the anxiety no longer holds it back and your erection has no choice but to show up. Concentrate on what arouses you the most… and in layman’s terms, “get as horny as possible”.
“Use her”, to become aroused… believe it or not, she will like this. While you’re working on building up your arousal, she’ll be getting turned on and super wet. It’s a win-win.
Accept the anxiety, build up the arousal, and let your erection happen on its own. It knows what to do, no need to tell it.
Take Your Time and Have Fun – Sex is Not A Life Or Death Situation
Sex is supposed to be fun, but we quite often take it too seriously.
Either we’re new to sex and don’t want to be exposed… or it’s been a while since we’ve had sex… or we’re really trying to impress a new woman…
I’ve been in each of these situations throughout my life, so I can relate.
And one thing I can say is, sex is not that serious… now, if you’re in a long-term relationship, and your girlfriend has never had an orgasm, that is a problem that should be taken care, but for a quickie with a new girl, there’s no need to take things so seriously. You have time to improve your technique later.
Joke about things… laugh… have fun… then when your erection is up and at attention, and you’re already inside and going to town, then you can go into “beast mode” if you’d like…
And slooowwwww down… there’s no rush. No rush to get an erection, no rush to keep an erection.
We incorrectly assume that once we lose an erection during sex, we’ll have trouble regaining it… as long as we keep our cool for the most part, we can lose and regain our erection as many times as we’d like. So remove this anxiety from your mind. And enjoy the build up of your arousal.
Don’t take yourself or the situation too seriously… and slow down, rushing won’t help anything… and that will relieve some pressure helping you to achieve and keep erections more naturally.
Physically Strengthen Your Erections for More Confidence in Your Machinery – And Better Understand the Mind / Erection Connection
Performing cardio, strengthening your PC muscle, and keeping your vitamin D levels in a healthy range are all natural, yet scientifically-backed ways of improving your erection strength, regardless of age.